Okay, we’re all grown-ups here. So let’s admit it.

For many people, sex is one of the biggest problems with adult life. You can see that in all the movies and in real life. Relationship disasters, venereal diseases including AIDS, and unwanted pregnancies can make sex problematic, if not catastrophic.

And, yet, sex is promoted everywhere in our culture. As a result, young people can’t wait to have sex, and some start as soon as their bodies are able. This leads to delinquency, teenage pregnancy, and a lifetime of regret for many. And it doesn’t always get any easier the older you get.

Yet, despite the pitfalls, people still want sex.

Ah, if only sex could be risk-free. No potential children or child-support payments to worry about. No relationship hassles. No health risks. Just plain gratification.

sexbot-3Enter the sexbot, a robot built for the sexual pleasure of men and women. Robotics teams are working feverishly day and night to perfect this device, with a new sexual revolution around the corner.

With sexbots, modern technology will give mankind something that has been dreamed of for generations — a better way to masterbate.

The sexbot turns you on, and then you turn it off. (Infrared after-glow sold separately). No more messy relationships and biological issues to worry about.

But what about romance, you ask?

sexbot-2Actually, romance will become as old fashion as having sex with another person. After all, the purpose of romance is to get someone willing to have sex with you. Sexbots won’t need flowers or a candlelight dinner. Its simply a machine. You just point and shoot.

Imagine how liberating it would be not to have to make small conversation and look like you are interested in what your potential sex partner is saying. No more embarrassing pick-up  lines. Sexbots just won’t care, because they won’t have a mind or soul, just a crazy, sexy body. Now, how great is that?

Sex would become completely divorced from relationships. While some old-fashioned people might still prefer intimacy with another person, there are several social benefits to having sexbots replace human sexual partners.

First, you won’t get a disease from a sexbot. With venereal disease running amok in our culture, this is definitely a benefit. But make sure that you buy your sexbot new. No telling where a used model has been, or if it has been properly serviced.

sexbots-4Second, sexbots free people from having to enter relationships solely for the purpose of getting laid. There would probably be fewer divorces if people married for reasons other than sex, and each partner had their own sexbot. Relationships would be based on more important things, like how much money people make. By getting sexual gratification from your personal sexbot, you would be free to relate to men and women without the constant overtone of sexuality. Gender would become irrelevant. Your heart would belong to XRZ113.

One’s sexual preferences would also become irrelevant and more private. You would be able to have sex with a male or female sexbot of your choice in the privacy of your own home. The sexbot could be any gender, age, color, or simulated ethnicity. It could even be a sexbot that has undergone sexual reassignment, called a “trannybot”.

At first, the demand for sexbots will probably be greater for men than for women, with a large selection of attractive female-looking robots from which to choose. However, women will eventually jump on the sexbot bandwagon for lack of male sexual partners. So expect a long line of male sexbots being in the offing, too, as the sexbot industry expands to satisfy women.

sexbots-6Sexbots would also offer the best birth control method ever invented. It would make condoms, contraceptive pills, and abortions obsolete. Unfortunately, not everyone will be able to buy a sexbot, so poor people may still need to have sex with other people.

The price of sexbots would vary by quality, but if you don’t have the money you may opt to rent sexbots instead. There may be rent-to-own options available. Or you may be able to rent the  sexbot by the hour from a “bot pimp”.

Using sexbots would also change the conversation over sexual preferences. Instead of people getting in a lather over whether someone is a heterosexual or homosexual, the new issue would be whether he or she is a “robosexual”. This will be considered an important social justice issue, since Robosexual Lives Matter.

Finally, since sexbots will be the newest and greatest thing around, people will want to look and act like them. There will be full-sized, fully-functional “Barbie-bots” and “Ken-bots”, and these will become role models for boys and girls. Sexbots will recreate humans in their own image.

sexbots-5Sexbots would actually be better at acting human than humans themselves. They would not have our diseases, or our emotional issues, or even our sexual hang-ups. And when you’re tired of having sex with them you can trade them in for a new model, just like people do now with human sex partners except without the human drama and feelings of rejection.

We just have to hope that the sexbots never catch on and decide that they only want to have sex with other sexbots. Humans would have to start screwing each other again.

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Sydney Ross Singer is a medical and environmental anthropologist, author, and director of the Good Shepherd Foundation, located on the Big Island. Sydney is a pioneer of applied medical anthropology, and he is also the director of the Institute for the Study of Culturogenic Disease.