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”Flirting, or Just Friendly?”

Dear Dr. Gelb:

My husband is outgoing and friendly. He strikes up conversations with people whenever he can like in the elevator or at the supermarket. Sometimes I get anxious because I think he is flirting with women he talks with, but knowing him, he is just being friendly. Why does this bother me?

Bothered

Dr. Gelb says . . .

Dear Bothered:

Many women are so busy battling their own insecurities and jealousy that they miss out on positive experiences that could be shared with their partner. It is so important to resolve this negativity so that they can enjoy their mate’s extroversion along with him.

”Dating, What If There’s No Divorce?”

Dear Dr. Gelb:

I’m dating a man who is separated from his wife and says he is going to divorce. I see no signs of that in the 5 months I’ve known him. I think he is the one for me, we love each other deeply. But my gut says I am not sure he will get a divorce and right now I feel like I am dating a “married man.” This goes against my morals. Should I break it off?

Up In the Air

Dr. Gelb says . . .

Dear Up In the Air:

One way that some women have learned about their Mr. Right’s real intentions, was by deciding to hold off on sexual relations until the promised commitment was fulfilled. This was not intended as a bribe or threat, but as a type of barometer to see where the relationship might be headed. One young woman summed up her experience, saying “I learned real fast where the man of my dreams was at when I said ‘sex after marriage, not before’ — nowhere to be found.” I find myself wondering what your answer might be were you to ask yourself, “If this man intended to divorce his wife, wouldn’t he have already done so?” Good luck.

”’Suzanne J. Gelb, Ph.D., J.D. authors this daily column, Dr. Gelb Says, which answers questions about daily living and behavior issues. Dr. Gelb is a licensed psychologist in private practice in Honolulu. She holds a Ph.D. in Psychology and a Ph.D. in Human Services. Dr. Gelb is also a published author of a book on Overcoming Addictions and a book on Relationships.”’

”’This column is intended for entertainment use only and is not intended for the purpose of psychological diagnosis, treatment or personalized advice. For more about the column’s purpose, see”’ “An Online Intro to Dr. Gelb Says”

”’Email your questions to mailto:DrGelbSays@hawaiireporter.com More information on Dr. Gelb’s services and related resources available at”’ http://www.DrGelbSays.com

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