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”Care Giving — Why Don’t Caregivers Seek Training?”

Q: Dear Dr. Gelb:

I was enjoying my lunch at my favorite restaurant when I observed a caregiver dragging an elderly, physically challenged person who could hardly keep up with the pace. I expected the person to fall at any moment. My instinct almost forced me to come to her rescue. My question is why don’t caregivers seek training in how to manage the physically challenged — not only for their safety, but for the safety of the ones they are caring for?

Concerned.

A: Dr. Gelb says . . .

Dear Concerned:

I appreciate your sensitivity to the physically challenged and the elderly. Many people are unaware of the training opportunities that may be available to assist them in this type care giving. Such opportunities do exist and it is so important for caregivers to avail themselves of this type of education and guidance when necessary. Some caregivers have begun their research into such training by inquiring at a local hospital or rehabilitation center. Others have asked their attending physician to direct them to a local facility that provides training to caregivers for the elderly and the physically challenged.

”Shopping Options — Why Doesn’t My Husband Support Mine?”

Dear Dr. Gelb:

I have learned that when I have a problem that I can’t handle right away I “set it aside” to deal with it later. Something came up, which I’m having trouble doing that with, so I thought I’d run the situation past you.

Recently, I have had 2 very unpleasant experiences at the hardware store that is closest to my home. There is another store about 5 or 6 blocks further away and I had decided to give my business to that store. I have been pleased by the service and shared my experience with my husband, with the intent that we give Store #2 our family’s business. However, my husband continues to patronize Store #1. When I asked him about it he said, “Just because you had a bad experience I don’t see any reason to go out of my way to the 2nd store.”

This type of behavior is nothing new and my marriage is not in good shape. Usually I can let stuff like this go, but I am struggling with my feelings. Similar incidents have occurred in the past, but I guess I’m growing in my own self-respect and am angry that my husband cares so little about me, and then kind of flaunts it in my face.

Thank you.

A: Dr. Gelb says . . .

Dear Shopper:

If more shoppers would be as conscientious and self-respecting as you appear to be, they may very well take a course of action similar to yours. I am surprised that your husband would not support your stand, and that he does not appear to respect your feelings or opinions. Sorry about that. It is certainly understandable why you would choose the second option.

”’Suzanne J. Gelb, Ph.D., J.D. authors this daily column, Dr. Gelb Says, which answers questions about daily living and behavior issues. Dr. Gelb is a licensed psychologist in private practice in Honolulu. She holds a Ph.D. in Psychology and a Ph.D. in Human Services. Dr. Gelb is also a published author of a book on Overcoming Addictions and a book on Relationships.”’

”’This column is intended for entertainment use only and is not intended for the purpose of psychological diagnosis, treatment or personalized advice. For more about the column’s purpose, see”’ “An Online Intro to Dr. Gelb Says”

”’Email your questions to mailto:DrGelbSays@hawaiireporter.com More information on Dr. Gelb’s services and related resources available at”’ http://www.DrGelbSays.com

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Hawaii Reporter is an award-winning, independent Hawaii-based news and opinion journal founded in 2001 and launched in February 2002. The journal's staff have won a number of top awards from the Society of Professional Journalists, including the top investigative news reporting awards, business reporting awards, government reporting awards, and online news reporting awards.