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”Taking Care of Me — Why the Selfish Feelings?”

Dear Dr. Gelb:

I’m 35 and on a path of getting my act together. Since the New Year I’ve been exercising, lost weight and I’m changing jobs. This is long overdue but why do I feel so selfish about all the focus on me?

Prioritizing Me

Dr. Gelb says . . .

Dear Prioritizing:

Congratulations on what appears to be the development of self-respect and self-love, along with a feeling of self-pride. There is nothing selfish about that. Keep up the good work.

”Too Little, Too Late — How To Manage Teenage Rebellion?”

Dear Dr. Gelb:

My 16-year-old has been violating his curfew and cutting classes. Sometimes I think I am too strict with him, then some things happen and I think I am not strict enough. He says I worry too much and I’m the “uncoolest mom.” How can I get him back on track? Is it too late?

Uncool Mom

Dr. Gelb says . . .

Dear Uncool:

Parents should never allow themselves to be manipulated by their children. Being compared negatively to other parents suggests such an attempt. Hopefully you are not too late. If I were you, I’d keep up the restrictions, apply consistent, appropriate discipline and offer consequences for rebellion. Your son will most likely thank you for it when he gets older.

”’Suzanne J. Gelb, Ph.D., J.D. authors this weekly column, Dr. Gelb Says, which answers questions about daily living and behavior issues. Extra articles and additional Q & As may occasionally be posted in response to specially requested topics. Dr. Gelb is a licensed psychologist in private practice in Honolulu. She holds a Ph.D. in Psychology and a Ph.D. in Human Services. Dr. Gelb is also a published author of a book on Overcoming Addictions and a book on Relationships.”’

”’This column is intended for entertainment use only and is not intended for the purpose of psychological diagnosis, treatment or personalized advice. For more about the column’s purpose, see”’ “An Online Intro to Dr. Gelb Says”

”’Email your questions to mailto:DrGelbSays@hawaiireporter.com More information on Dr. Gelb’s services and related resources available at”’ http://www.DrGelbSays.com

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