Suzanne Gelb Image ‘Chivalry And Politeness — Are They a Thing of the Past?’ Q: Dear Dr. Gelb: What has our society come to? I was having lunch the other day in a restaurant that makes my favorite soup. I usually go in for a quick bowl of soup on my lunch break and I sit at the counter because it is faster. Along came this gentleman, if you can call him that, and sat on the stool beside me. He ordered soup also and we were both served about the same time. This gentleman had a long beard and a mustache hanging over his mouth. He took a couple of spoonfuls of his soup, and began to suck the rest of it out of his mustache. Needless to say, I pushed my soup aside and walked out. Was I rude in doing this? I was only trying to make a statement. Possibly Rude A: Dr. Gelb says . . . Dear Possibly Rude: I believe that the most appropriate course of action would be to pick up the bowl of soup, move down the counter to another place if possible, and ignore the vulgar behavior. You probably have noticed that in most public places very few people in today’s society show manners or respect for each other. Chivalry and politeness appear to be, unfortunately, a thing of the past. If I had my way, we would get it back. However, for this to occur, caregivers need to reinstate this type of discipline as they teach their young ones to show courtesy and respect to each other. ‘Faking It — To What Lengths Would I Go For a Free Meal?’ Q: Dear Dr. Gelb: I was having dinner at a very exclusive restaurant in a nice neighborhood and as I began to enjoy my dessert there was a hair in the pudding. I brought this to the attention of the waiter, he came to the table with a white cloth over his arm and I pointed to the hair in the pudding. Immediately he left and another gentleman who identified himself as the manager, came to my table and apologized and offered me and my guest a free meal. He also asked if there was anything else that he could bring me to make up for this embarrassment. I appreciated this gesture and of course accepted the generosity. My guilt is that my next restaurant I went to, I actually thought of planting a hair in one of the entrees to see if I could get another free meal, but my conscience wouldn’t allow it. Shameful Me Dear Shameful: You were right to bring to the restaurant’s attention the fact that the hair was in your pudding. Most establishments are very generous in compensating for errors of that nature, and believe me, the kitchen help usually hears about it because this is something that they do not want to occur. However, as careful as they can be accidents do happen. As far as your conscience goes I am pleased that you have one. Continue to obey it and live a healthy life. ”Suzanne J. Gelb, Ph.D., J.D. authors this daily column, Dr. Gelb Says, which answers questions about daily living and behavior issues. Dr. Gelb is a licensed psychologist in private practice in Honolulu. She holds a Ph.D. in Psychology and a Ph.D. in Human Services. Dr. Gelb is also a published author of a book on Overcoming Addictions and a book on Relationships.” ”This column is intended for entertainment use only and is not intended for the purpose of psychological diagnosis, treatment or personalized advice. For more about the column’s purpose, see” “An Online Intro to Dr. Gelb Says” ”Email your questions to mailto:DrGelbSays@hawaiireporter.com More information on Dr. Gelb’s services and related resources available at” http://www.DrGelbSays.com

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