Successful people know that nothing ever goes exactly as planned. And no matter how hard you work, sooner or later you must face the reality that you failed. You tried to do something and weren’t successful. You didn’t get the result you wanted.

You didn’t get the job you hoped for. You didn’t get the raise you deserved.
You didn’t close the big order. Your largest account just walked out the
door. You struck out with the bases loaded.

You missed the winning shot at the buzzer. There was a fly in the
ointment. There was a glitch somewhere. You failed. ”’So what!”’

You don’t close every sale. You don’t win every game. You aren’t going to
hit a home run every time you’re up to bat. You don’t always get what you
want. Failure is OK. It’s part of life. It should be expected.

The bigger question is: What do you do next? What do you do after you’ve failed?

As Frank Sinatra sang: “You pick yourself up and get back in the race. That’s life …”

You don’t feel sorry for yourself. You don’t mope around. You pick
yourself up and do it again and again and again until you get it right!

Failure is as much a part of life as success. Losing is as much a part of
life as winning. The most important thing to think about is how can
you ensure that you won’t fail in the same way a second time.

Remember: You just can’t fail the last time you try.

Life is a series of trial-and-error experiences. We are taught something
by a teacher, and then we try to do it ourselves. The first time we do it
we probably don’t get the results we want. So we try again, and again,
and again. With practice we get better.

Then we push ourselves as we try to do something that’s a little bit more
difficult. As we succeed, our expectations increase, and so does the
satisfaction that comes from the feeling of a job well done.

So we set our sights a bit higher-to improve our results as compared to
what we’ve done before and in relation to the results of those with
whom we are competing-and we try again. We continue to push
ourselves to new heights.

When we succeed, we once again raise the bar. And when we don’t,
we go back to work to improve our skills and talents, and try again.

That is why I feel that the subjects of success and failure are so
intertwined: because it is through failure that we grow and develop
as individuals. We learn through our failures. Failures show us our
flaws, our imperfections, the areas in which we need improvement.

In order to achieve your goals, to fulfill your desires, to make your
dreams come true, you’re going to have to work. It is hard work that
makes you better at what you do, and failing from time to time is
just a part of life.

Remember: If you’re not experiencing failure, you’re not working hard enough.

Overcome the Fear of Failure

Failure is trying to do something and not getting the desired results.
Fear of failure is something else. Fear of failure causes paralysis.

It’s unfortunate, but many people go through life with a fear of failure.
They’re so afraid that they’re going to make a mistake, that they won’t
do something right, that it won’t be perfect, that they don’t try to
do anything at all.

So what happens? They become paralyzed and don’t do anything. And
with this paralysis they lose the ability to have a rewarding, meaningful,
and enjoyable life.

It’s just physically impossible for someone who has a fear of failure
to achieve anything, because that person has never tried. She never
gave herself the opportunity to succeed.

It is in doing, trying, and experiencing things you never did before
that you grow and develop. Through practice you get better and
better at the things you do.

Learn From Your Failures

When you experience failure, take some time to reflect upon what
happened. Pull out a pad of paper and start writing down the answers
to these questions:

*Why did this happen?

*What could I have done differently?

*How can I do it better next time?

*What changes should I make in my strategies?

*What can I do to improve my planning and preparation?

Study these answers. Analyze them. Then go out and do it
better the next time.

One day when I was playing tennis my instructor and I had a conversation
about strategies. He said that if you’re losing, change your game. And if
that doesn’t work, change your game again. You may still lose, but lose
as many different ways as you can.

Overcome the Six Symptoms of Fear
Fear is being afraid. It is being anxious. It is feeling that you are in
danger. In life, fear can be real and it can be imagined.

But fear is actually nothing more than a state of mind that is subject to
your control and direction. You can run away, or you can face the thing
that is causing you to feel fearful. It is in facing the thing that is causing
you to feel afraid that you grow as a person.

These are the Six Symptoms of Fear:

*1. INDIFFERENCE: You write things off because you feel they aren’t important. They’re beneath you. You don’t want to be bothered with them.

*2. INDECISION: You can’t make up your mind. You don’t know if you should or shouldn’t do something. Or you can’t decide if you should do A instead of B. So you do nothing!

*3. DOUBT: You’re not certain as to what you should do. You can’t make up your mind. You’re apprehensive.

*4. WORRY: You feel anxious. You’re uneasy. You’re not sure you made the right decision. You don’t feel confident.

*5. OVERCAUTIOUSNESS: You’re excessively or overly cautious. You check everything over and over and over again. You want to make sure everything’s right.

*6. PROCRASTINATION: You put things off till later. You defer action. You wait so long to do something that the window of opportunity has opened and closed.

Don’t allow these six symptoms of fear to keep you from achieving your goals.

”’Reprinted with permission from Jeffrey Mayer’s Newsletter. (Copyright, 2003, Jeffrey J. Mayer, To subscribe to Jeff’s free newsletter, visit:”’