Appropriate Attractions and Dreams-June 27, 2003

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“Suzanne Gelb Image”

”Attraction, Why the Guilt?”


Dear Dr. Gelb:

Lately my teenager has been bringing his girlfriends to our home for his mom and me to meet. I love my wife, so why I am attracted to the pretty girls that my son brings home?


Dear Guilty:

It is not uncommon for committed men, or any men for that matter, to be physically attracted to a female. What is important is that the committed men be grown up enough not to act on these feelings. This could include not being flirtatious nor extending gestures that would suggest feelings of attraction. Instead, a committed male can transfer the attraction and arousal that he may feel towards a stranger to his mate. He can share the feelings with her, perhaps even finding or exploring some of those qualities that he finds attractive, in his wife. Therefore, in my opinion there is no need to feel guilty about being attracted to someone else. This is a natural phenomenon and as long as the feelings are not inappropriately acted upon, there is no harm done.

”Dreams, What Do They Mean?”

Dear Dr. Gelb:

I am engaged to be married and looking forward to it. For sometime now, I’ve had this recurring dream about falling in love with one of my ex-boyfriends all over again. Is the dream is trying to tell me something. What should I do?


Dear Dreamer:

In my opinion, some dreams can be interpreted as a way for the subconscious to try to communicate a particular message. Some practitioners have theorized that when people who are about to make a commitment to another (e.g., marriage) dream about marrying someone else, this could reflect indecisiveness about their feelings towards their fianc