From Believing in Yourself to Regaining Trust

article top

“Suzanne Gelb Image”

”Success – Why The Neurosis?”


Dear Dr. Gelb:

I am a credentialed professional and lately I have had great success with projects I have been working on. This has resulted in me interacting with some high-powered people. I have always wanted to be on the cutting edge of things, but now that I am there, I’m doubting everything I do. The doubt is driving me nuts but I can’t get rid of it. Why do I doubt so much at a time when I am more successful then I’ve ever been?

Doubting Success

A: Dear Success:

It is not uncommon for people who experience the type of doubt you describe to have been accused of being wrong at an early age and during much of their lives. These types of individuals tend to be obsessed with the fear of what others think of them. It is important to remember that we can please some people some of the time, but it is impossible to please all the people all the time.

”Cheating – Will She Trust Me Again?”

Dear Dr. Gelb:

I did a stupid thing, I had a fling with my wife’s sister. I feel so bad about it. It’s over and I never will do such a thing again. My wife is so mad, I understand that. How can I get her to trust me again, or is it over?


A: Dear Regret:

Many of us do foolish things that we regret. It is important to resolve any guilt for this, and hope that positive changes in our behavior will be noticed and we will be forgiven for past mistakes. However, it is more important that we forgive ourselves. It is difficult, but not impossible to earn back the trust of a loved one. One key is to be truthful and consistent with future behavior.

”’Suzanne J. Gelb, Ph.D., J.D. authors this daily column, Dr. Gelb Says, which answers questions about daily living and behavior issues. Dr. Gelb is a licensed psychologist in private practice in Honolulu. She holds a Ph.D. in Psychology and a Ph.D. in Human Services. Dr. Gelb is also a published author of a book on Overcoming Addictions and a book on Relationships.”’

”’This column is intended for entertainment use only and is not intended for the purpose of psychological diagnosis, treatment or personalized advice. For more about the column’s purpose, see”’ “An Online Intro to Dr. Gelb Says”

”’Email your questions to More information on Dr. Gelb’s services and related resources available at”’