From Finding a Religion to Becoming More Assertive

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“Suzanne Gelb Image”

”Religion – What is it?”


Dear Dr. Gelb:

I’m searching for religion and I’m tired of searching. I like what you write about in your column and wanted to know your thoughts on religion and “what is it”?


Dear Searching:

In my opinion, religious type of instruction and guidance usually has its origins in the family where the adults or parents instill a faith about religion and there is a tendency to grow with it. I have studied several religions as part of my own personal quest and have found what is comfortable for me. To me, religion is a belief that people nurture to protect and serve their spirit or soul in an attempt to stay in touch with their Creator. Not claiming expertise in this area, that is about the best explanation I can offer. It works for me.

”Vulnerable – How to be Assertive?”

Dear Dr. Gelb:

I think I need therapy so I can be more assertive, but I’m worried the therapist will tell me what to do and I won’t be able to say no because I am not assertive — there’s a catch 22 because I want to go to counseling to learn to be assertive, but I think I need to be a bit assertive in counseling so I am not so gullible. How do I stop this merry-go-round?


Dear Gullible:

I do not believe that a therapist’s responsibility includes dictating behavior or restructuring someone’s frame of reference. In my opinion, the provider’s task includes helping people find their inner authority (self-confidence) so that they can establish self-love, self-worth, and self-respect and as a result make rational decisions and stand by their choices of behavior.

”’Suzanne J. Gelb, Ph.D., J.D. authors this daily column, Dr. Gelb Says, which answers questions about daily living and behavior issues. Dr. Gelb is a licensed psychologist in private practice in Honolulu. She holds a Ph.D. in Psychology and a Ph.D. in Human Services. Dr. Gelb is also a published author of a book on Overcoming Addictions and a book on Relationships.”’

”’This column is intended for entertainment use only and is not intended for the purpose of psychological diagnosis, treatment or personalized advice. For more about the column’s purpose, see”’ “An Online Intro to Dr. Gelb Says”

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