From Respect for Others to Understanding Lawyers

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“Suzanne Gelb Image”

”Respecting Others – Does this Mean They are Superior?”


Dear Dr. Gelb:

I read your answer to the question about respect in an earlier column. My question is that when I think of respecting others, why do I think of looking up to people as if they are better than me. This is bothersome.


A: Dr. Gelb says . . .

Dear Bothered:

Thank you for your question. You may want to read the Q & A for “Dr. Gelb Says . . .” posted March 6, 2003 entitled “Self-Respect – Isn’t it Arrogant?” That would be my answer to your question. Go to: “Learning to Respect Oneself”

”Lawyers – Why They Lie?”

Dear Dr. Gelb:

I know you graduated law school not too long ago and passed the bar. Why would you want to enter a profession where there is so much lying and conniving, and why do lawyers lie so much?


A: Dr. Gelb says . . .

Dear Mistrust:

Some people are of the opinion that lawyers do not necessarily lie a whole lot more than many non-lawyers unfortunately do. It is just that they are in a profession that compels them to accentuate the positive and try to eliminate the negative. There is also the thinking that some of the apparent deceptive rhetoric is often based on the distortions that lawyers may hear from clients and others, and in an attempt to defend there can be a need to be creative in a somewhat deceptive way to bring out some good. This is not unlike trying to eat from a rotten apple — the rotten part must be cut out before any edible portion of the fruit can be found.

Answers to questions in today’s column can be supplemented with excerpts from “Yesterday’s Children” (Q1-2: pp. 12-15) written by psychologists Marti Barham, R.N., Ph.D. and Tom Greene, Ph.D. For more information visit my Web site at

”’Suzanne J. Gelb, Ph.D., J.D. authors this daily column, Dr. Gelb Says, which answers questions about daily living and behavior issues. Dr. Gelb is a licensed psychologist in private practice in Honolulu. She holds a Ph.D. in Psychology and a Ph.D. in Human Services. Dr. Gelb is also a published author of a book on Overcoming Addictions and a book on Relationships.”’

”’This column is intended for entertainment use only and is not intended for the purpose of psychological diagnosis, treatment or personalized advice. For more about the column’s purpose, see”’ “An Online Intro to Dr. Gelb Says”

”’Email your questions to More information on Dr. Gelb’s services and related resources available at”’