New evidence now points a finger at Hawaii’s Governor Neil Abercrombie as the possible source of the widely disputed document purporting to be President Obama’s long form birth certificate. Surveillance photos of the South St. & Queen St. intersection routinely monitored by the Honolulu Fire Department have been leaked to the media. One frame clearly shows Governor Abercrombie leaving the Kinko’s late at night, on April 25th, two days before Obama unveiled the “official” document.
The night manager at Kinko’s, Mr. Marvin Ishikawa, further corroborated what was shown on the video.
“Sure I remember them.” said Ishikawa. “They hogged my best graphics machine for hours. I thought the short guy looked a lot like the governor, but he said his name was John Smith. I thought it was kind of funny that they paid with a State of Hawaii government debit card.”
Ishikawa elaborated, “They were on that machine for almost two days straight, and I have the computer logs right here; 12 hours of Adobe Illustrator, 23 scans, a bunch of PhotoShop and several faxes back and forth to Washington, DC.”
Asked to identify the man in the video, Ishikawa said, “Yeah, that’s him, that’s “Smith.”
When Abercrombie first took office he vowed to clear this birth certificate business up, once and for all, but by January of 2011 had given up. He basically told his friends that he simply “couldn’t find the dam thing.” Things changed in April, when the President sent a letter to Hawaii’s Department of Health requesting a copy of the long form birth certificate.
According to one un-named source inside the DOH, everybody, including the Governor’s Office, panicked, “We had to do what we had to do”
EDITOR’S NOTE: This report is in our satire section.