“Suzanne Gelb Image”

”Care Giving — Why Don’t Caregivers Seek Training?”

Q: Dear Dr. Gelb:

I was enjoying my lunch at my favorite restaurant when I observed a caregiver dragging an elderly, physically challenged person who could hardly keep up with the pace. I expected the person to fall at any moment. My instinct almost forced me to come to her rescue. My question is why don’t caregivers seek training in how to manage the physically challenged — not only for their safety, but for the safety of the ones they are caring for?

Concerned.

A: Dr. Gelb says . . .

Dear Concerned:

I appreciate your sensitivity to the physically challenged and the elderly. Many people are unaware of the training opportunities that may be available to assist them in this type care giving. Such opportunities do exist and it is so important for caregivers to avail themselves of this type of education and guidance when necessary. Some caregivers have begun their research into such training by inquiring at a local hospital or rehabilitation center. Others have asked their attending physician to direct them to a local facility that provides training to caregivers for the elderly and the physically challenged.

”Shopping Options — Why Doesn’t My Husband Support Mine?”

Dear Dr. Gelb:

I have learned that when I have a problem that I can’t handle right away I “set it aside” to deal with it later. Something came up, which I’m having trouble doing that with, so I thought I’d run the situation past you.

Recently, I have had 2 very unpleasant experiences at the hardware store that is closest to my home. There is another store about 5 or 6 blocks further away and I had decided to give my business to that store. I have been pleased by the service and shared my experience with my husband, with the intent that we give Store #2 our family’s business. However, my husband continues to patronize Store #1. When I asked him about it he said, “Just because you had a bad experience I don’t see any reason to go out of my way to the 2nd store.”

This type of behavior is nothing new and my marriage is not in good shape. Usually I can let stuff like this go, but I am struggling with my feelings. Similar incidents have occurred in the past, but I guess I’m growing in my own self-respect and am angry that my husband cares so little about me, and then kind of flaunts it in my face.

Thank you.

A: Dr. Gelb says . . .

Dear Shopper:

If more shoppers would be as conscientious and self-respecting as you appear to be, they may very well take a course of action similar to yours. I am surprised that your husband would not support your stand, and that he does not appear to respect your feelings or opinions. Sorry about that. It is certainly understandable why you would choose the second option.

”’Suzanne J. Gelb, Ph.D., J.D. authors this daily column, Dr. Gelb Says, which answers questions about daily living and behavior issues. Dr. Gelb is a licensed psychologist in private practice in Honolulu. She holds a Ph.D. in Psychology and a Ph.D. in Human Services. Dr. Gelb is also a published author of a book on Overcoming Addictions and a book on Relationships.”’

”’This column is intended for entertainment use only and is not intended for the purpose of psychological diagnosis, treatment or personalized advice. For more about the column’s purpose, see”’ “An Online Intro to Dr. Gelb Says”

”’Email your questions to mailto:DrGelbSays@hawaiireporter.com More information on Dr. Gelb’s services and related resources available at”’ https://www.DrGelbSays.com

Suzanne Gelb Image ‘Care Giving — Why Don’t Caregivers Seek Training?’ Q: Dear Dr. Gelb: I was enjoying my lunch at my favorite restaurant when I observed a caregiver dragging an elderly, physically challenged person who could hardly keep up with the pace. I expected the person to fall at any moment. My instinct almost forced me to come to her rescue. My question is why don’t caregivers seek training in how to manage the physically challenged — not only for their safety, but for the safety of the ones they are caring for? Concerned. A: Dr. Gelb says . . . Dear Concerned: I appreciate your sensitivity to the physically challenged and the elderly. Many people are unaware of the training opportunities that may be available to assist them in this type care giving. Such opportunities do exist and it is so important for caregivers to avail themselves of this type of education and guidance when necessary. Some caregivers have begun their research into such training by inquiring at a local hospital or rehabilitation center. Others have asked their attending physician to direct them to a local facility that provides training to caregivers for the elderly and the physically challenged. ‘Shopping Options — Why Doesn’t My Husband Support Mine?’ Dear Dr. Gelb: I have learned that when I have a problem that I can’t handle right away I “set it aside” to deal with it later. Something came up, which I’m having trouble doing that with, so I thought I’d run the situation past you. Recently, I have had 2 very unpleasant experiences at the hardware store that is closest to my home. There is another store about 5 or 6 blocks further away and I had decided to give my business to that store. I have been pleased by the service and shared my experience with my husband, with the intent that we give Store #2 our family’s business. However, my husband continues to patronize Store #1. When I asked him about it he said, “Just because you had a bad experience I don’t see any reason to go out of my way to the 2nd store.” This type of behavior is nothing new and my marriage is not in good shape. Usually I can let stuff like this go, but I am struggling with my feelings. Similar incidents have occurred in the past, but I guess I’m growing in my own self-respect and am angry that my husband cares so little about me, and then kind of flaunts it in my face. Thank you. A: Dr. Gelb says . . . Dear Shopper: If more shoppers would be as conscientious and self-respecting as you appear to be, they may very well take a course of action similar to yours. I am surprised that your husband would not support your stand, and that he does not appear to respect your feelings or opinions. Sorry about that. It is certainly understandable why you would choose the second option. ”Suzanne J. Gelb, Ph.D., J.D. authors this daily column, Dr. Gelb Says, which answers questions about daily living and behavior issues. Dr. Gelb is a licensed psychologist in private practice in Honolulu. She holds a Ph.D. in Psychology and a Ph.D. in Human Services. Dr. Gelb is also a published author of a book on Overcoming Addictions and a book on Relationships.” ”This column is intended for entertainment use only and is not intended for the purpose of psychological diagnosis, treatment or personalized advice. For more about the column’s purpose, see” “An Online Intro to Dr. Gelb Says” ”Email your questions to mailto:DrGelbSays@hawaiireporter.com More information on Dr. Gelb’s services and related resources available at” https://www.DrGelbSays.com

”Special Jan. 4 Election Brings Out Worst in Leading Candidate”

Former state Senator and Democrat Candidate for Lieutenant Governor Matt Matsunaga is airing a series of television attack ads directed against his opponent Ed Case in the Jan. 4 Special U.S. House election to fill the two-year vacancy left by the death of U.S. Rep. Patsy Mink.

Case already won an earlier special election to fill Mink’ s seat for five weeks, although he will not be officially sworn in as U.S. Representative for Hawaii’ s second congressional district because the House will not be in session over the holidays. The ads accuse Case of favoring recreational Marijuana use, although Case has never voted for this legislation while in the state Legislature. Even more Judas like, Matsunaga calls Case his “good friend” in the ad, before he slams him. (It is not likely they are good friends anymore, if they ever were.)

Matsunaga also has an ad that attempts to use basketball — a game is he quite good at based on his performance at the House vs. Senate basketball tournament two years ago — to toughen up his image. He is playing basketball in the ad and sinking all the baskets. Apparently his political advisors believe the ad will help counter one of the main criticisms of Matsunaga during the last campaign — that his television advertisements made him look too soft and feminine, and that he wasn’t a team player.

Meanwhile three of the leading Democrat candidates, Matsunaga, Case and state Sen. Colleen Hanabusa, battle over who is the most liberal, as if the winner of that unofficial competition will be a shoo-in during this election.

They apparently believe that because U.S. Rep. Patsy “Pink” Mink was so liberal, and unabashedly so, and kept getting re-elected, that the voters in the second congressional district must be extremely liberal. That may sound practical, and probably is somewhat true, but there is the other side of the story –

”Special Jan. 4 Election Brings Out Worst in Leading Candidate”

Former state Senator and Democrat Candidate for Lieutenant Governor Matt Matsunaga is airing a series of television attack ads directed against his opponent Ed Case in the Jan. 4 Special U.S. House election to fill the two-year vacancy left by the death of U.S. Rep. Patsy Mink.

Case already won an earlier special election to fill Mink’ s seat for five weeks, although he will not be officially sworn in as U.S. Representative for Hawaii’ s second congressional district because the House will not be in session over the holidays. The ads accuse Case of favoring recreational Marijuana use, although Case has never voted for this legislation while in the state Legislature. Even more Judas like, Matsunaga calls Case his “good friend” in the ad, before he slams him. (It is not likely they are good friends anymore, if they ever were.)

Matsunaga also has an ad that attempts to use basketball — a game is he quite good at based on his performance at the House vs. Senate basketball tournament two years ago — to toughen up his image. He is playing basketball in the ad and sinking all the baskets. Apparently his political advisors believe the ad will help counter one of the main criticisms of Matsunaga during the last campaign — that his television advertisements made him look too soft and feminine, and that he wasn’t a team player.

Meanwhile three of the leading Democrat candidates, Matsunaga, Case and state Sen. Colleen Hanabusa, battle over who is the most liberal, as if the winner of that unofficial competition will be a shoo-in during this election.

They apparently believe that because U.S. Rep. Patsy “Pink” Mink was so liberal, and unabashedly so, and kept getting re-elected, that the voters in the second congressional district must be extremely liberal. That may sound practical, and probably is somewhat true, but there is the other side of the story –

Dick Rowland Image We hope for you to work hard to assure that you enjoy the best year you ever had. For our part, we certainly plan to do that. Our point is this: you are in charge of your attitude, your efforts, not the year 2003. To say “Have a good year” implies you are helplessly at the mercy of whatever the year may bring — as if the year to come was your boss or controller. Not so; you react to events and circumstances, the year does not. So, make it a great year and let us know if we can help you along the way. Our fellow think tank, the Mackinac Center for Public Policy, Midland, Michigan, asked its staff of 30 or so to answer what they hope for in 2003. Below are some of their remarks which we found meaningful. See https://www.Mackinac.org Hope you get inspired. “I hope that we will make great strides in helping people realize that the state doesn’t have a legitimate right to exercise moral authority over their children by forcing them to attend failing government-assigned schools and that parents will begin demanding the power to choose their own schools. I hope that parents are given more control over the schools their children attend and the money to make it happen through programs such as vouchers or tax credits. Who knows the needs of and cares more for a child than his/her loving parent?” “I hope that the new governors and legislators across the country will understand that entrepreneurs and free enterprise is what makes everything else possible; that they are easily crushed by high taxes, over-regulation and infringements on property rights; and that those destructive policies can’t be mitigated by handouts or “incentives” for certain favored firms and industries.” “I hope people more fully realize how much government takes from them, which if left in their own hands, they could use to more directly, efficiently and effectively to help each other.” “I hope people realize that reforming the world begins by reforming ourselves, each and every one of us, one at a time, on a very personal level. Too many people want to meddle in the affairs of others and run their lives for them, even though their own lives are in need of vast self-improvement.” “I hope more people come to realize that anything government gives, it first took from someone by threat of force. Government robs Peter to pay Paul.” “I hope education improves for everyone. I enjoy learning and thinking. And more thinking and learning can happen if people embrace openness, competition and choice.” “I hope that everyone involved in supporting political campaigns will realize that even the best politicians act only within the confines of acceptable policy that have been determined by visionary advocates of new ways of doing things. When you give to a politician, you help somebody move around on a road no farther than the end of that road — not necessarily to your destination. When you give to a think tank like the Mackinac Center, you help somebody build a new road that extends to policies that were previously unreachable by mere politicians.” “I hope that America adopts a flatter tax system. The U.S. tax system is an embarrassment. We should follow the leads of nations like the former Soviet Union and Estonia and flatten and lower our tax codes to help create more overall economic growth for the nation.” “I hope the U.S. adopts genuine Social Security Reform through allowing citizens more private options. The U.S. should join other nations and reform their pension systems, just as other nations around the world have. Other countries with private retirement accounts include, Chile, Denmark, the Netherlands, Argentina, Colombia, Peru, Bolivia, Mexico, Uruguay, Australia, Hungary, Kazakhstan, Poland, Latvia, Sweden, Hong Kong, El Salvador and Croatia (and coming soon) China.” “As a homeschooler, I really do hope states like Michigan start moving toward education tax credits this next year! I can hardly imagine how much richer of an educational experience my child could have if we spent even half of what our state spends on each child.” ”Make it the best year of your life …” ”Richard O. Rowland is president of the Grassroot Institute of Hawaii. He can be reached via email at mailto:grassroot@hawaii.rr.com or by phone at (808) 487-4959. More information about the Grassroot Institute of Hawaii can be found at its Web site at” https://www.grassrootinstitute.org

LOS ANGELES, Jan. 1 (UPI) — Here are my favorite media moments of last year, although I admit I enjoyed most of them only in the deeply cynical way I used to watch “The Partridge Family” back in the olden days.

THIS JUST IN: POLITICAL TENSIONS HIJACK AIRPLANE: Blogger and former San Jose Mercury News columnist Joanne Jacobs noticed a ridiculous headline in her old paper in March, after a Muslim mob attacked a train full of Hindu passengers: “Religious Tensions Kill 57 In India.” Running with the absurdity of the Merc’s blame-avoidance, National Post columnist Mark Steyn wrote: “Ah, those religious tensions’ll kill you every time. Is there an Ex-Lax you can take for religious tension? Or an extra-strength Tylenol, in case you feel a sudden attack coming on? I haven’t looked at the Mercury News for September 12th, but I’m assuming the front page read ‘Religious Tensions Kill 3,000 in New York,’ a particularly bad outbreak. If I were an Islamic fundamentalist, I’d be wondering what I had to do to get a bad press …”

SPEEDY, WE HARDLY KNEW YE: Fans began clamoring last April to bring back the Looney Tunes south-of-the-border mouse to Cartoon Network, which had banished the Speedy Gonzales character because of ethnic sensitivities. Jon Stewart noted on “The Daily Show” about Cartoon Network’s Speedyless programming: “They needed to make room for ‘The Pepe Le Pew “No Means Yes” Hour.'”

GET READY FOR “THE BACHELOR” MEETS “BLUE’S CLUES:” In May, Nick Jr.’s “Blue’s Clues” introduced its pre-school audience to the cartoon dog’s new best pal, Joe, played by actor Donovan Patton. (Tots were told that Joe’s older brother, Steve, played by the departing Steve Burns, went off to college.) Nickelodeon execs were very excited about the hottie-factor of the new “Blue’s Clues” guy — maybe a little too excited. “Our teenage moms are gonna LOVE Donavan,” gushed one at the press conference. Well, that’s always a socially valuable demographic to keep in mind.

DEPARTMENT OF DESPERATION: NBC President and Democratic Hollywood honcho Ted Harbert sent out a weirdly capitalized invitation to attend a June fundraising dinner for House Minority Leader Dick Gephardt, and also “to stop the Republicans from destroying the Environment, the Economy and our Education system and 38 other things … $500 for you Young Professionals.” This was followed a short time later by another, rather frantic notice: “You can come to the June 9 Gephardt Event AND Still Be Home In Time for the Lakers Game.” Plus: “The REVISED COST for a “Young Professional” contribution … is $250 per person.”

INK-STAINED, MAYBE; SELF-RIGHTEOUS, ALWAYS: Some reporters at the PBS press conference in July were outraged at the news that “Sesame Street” had decided not to add an HIV-positive Muppet to the cast after all, even though the South African version of “Sesame Street” has one.

THERE’S LOW RATINGS. THERE’S CRASHING-THROUGH-THE-FLOOR RATINGS. AND THEN THERE’S PHIL DONAHUE ON MSNBC: “Well, I feel like a very lucky duck and not too many folks get this chance,” the talk show host said at an MSNBC press conference, just before his much-hyped but (as it turned out) little-watched new cable show premiered last summer. “All throughout my career when I failed, when other people failed, it was predictable. They would say, ‘Well, they didn’t promote me.’ I can’t make that argument at MSNBC. I’m on the side of every other bus in New York City. The promotional has been sensational. And I really couldn’t ask for more support.” No, but a few more viewers would have been nice.

THE UNBELIEVABLE BOFFONESS OF “AMERICAN IDOL”: Robert Thompson, head of Syracuse University’s Center for the Study of Popular Television, told CNN in August that the talent show is much, much greater than anything that had come before: “This is to ‘Star Search’ what modern quantum physics is to Newtonian gravitational equations.” NOW LISTEN TO THE STORY OF A MAN NAMED JED, A POOR MOUNTAINEER TRYIN’ TO KEEP HIS FAMILY ON TV 24 HOURS A DAY, EVEN IN THE BATHROOM: CBS announced in August it plans to resurrect “The Beverly Hillbillies” as a reality series.

THEY NEVER SAID YOU WAS HIGH CLASS: In a deal being investigated by Department of Justice anti-trust lawyers, the nation’s two largest alternative weekly chains — Village Voice Media and New Times — agreed in October to shut down New Times in Los Angeles, leaving a market monopoly for the Village Voice-owned L.A. Weekly, in return for the Village Voice closing its Cleveland paper and leaving the market clear in that city for the New Times-owned Cleveland paper.

Of course, L.A. is much bigger than Cleveland, so the Village Voice also agreed to paid New Times $8 million. When a reporter from the L.A. Weekly working on a story about the closures called New Times founder and executive editor Michael Lacey for a comment, Lacey yelled “Go f— yourself” and slammed down the phone.

SNARKORAMA! This is the year that the indispensable website TelevisionWithoutPity.com came into its own, complete with a big respectful article in the New York Times magazine in October about how showrunners increasingly pay attention to what these online kibitzers think. I became a fan of TVw/oP.com during “American Idol,” when one of the site’s episode recappers noted that Justin made Paula Abdul’s uterus fall out.

Here, just for a taste, is the TVw/oP.com recap of a November episode of “Everwood”: “As the writers scratch off #476 in their Handy-Dandy Handbook of On-Screen clich

LOS ANGELES, Jan. 1 (UPI) — Here are my favorite media moments of last year, although I admit I enjoyed most of them only in the deeply cynical way I used to watch “The Partridge Family” back in the olden days.

THIS JUST IN: POLITICAL TENSIONS HIJACK AIRPLANE: Blogger and former San Jose Mercury News columnist Joanne Jacobs noticed a ridiculous headline in her old paper in March, after a Muslim mob attacked a train full of Hindu passengers: “Religious Tensions Kill 57 In India.” Running with the absurdity of the Merc’s blame-avoidance, National Post columnist Mark Steyn wrote: “Ah, those religious tensions’ll kill you every time. Is there an Ex-Lax you can take for religious tension? Or an extra-strength Tylenol, in case you feel a sudden attack coming on? I haven’t looked at the Mercury News for September 12th, but I’m assuming the front page read ‘Religious Tensions Kill 3,000 in New York,’ a particularly bad outbreak. If I were an Islamic fundamentalist, I’d be wondering what I had to do to get a bad press …”

SPEEDY, WE HARDLY KNEW YE: Fans began clamoring last April to bring back the Looney Tunes south-of-the-border mouse to Cartoon Network, which had banished the Speedy Gonzales character because of ethnic sensitivities. Jon Stewart noted on “The Daily Show” about Cartoon Network’s Speedyless programming: “They needed to make room for ‘The Pepe Le Pew “No Means Yes” Hour.'”

GET READY FOR “THE BACHELOR” MEETS “BLUE’S CLUES:” In May, Nick Jr.’s “Blue’s Clues” introduced its pre-school audience to the cartoon dog’s new best pal, Joe, played by actor Donovan Patton. (Tots were told that Joe’s older brother, Steve, played by the departing Steve Burns, went off to college.) Nickelodeon execs were very excited about the hottie-factor of the new “Blue’s Clues” guy — maybe a little too excited. “Our teenage moms are gonna LOVE Donavan,” gushed one at the press conference. Well, that’s always a socially valuable demographic to keep in mind.

DEPARTMENT OF DESPERATION: NBC President and Democratic Hollywood honcho Ted Harbert sent out a weirdly capitalized invitation to attend a June fundraising dinner for House Minority Leader Dick Gephardt, and also “to stop the Republicans from destroying the Environment, the Economy and our Education system and 38 other things … $500 for you Young Professionals.” This was followed a short time later by another, rather frantic notice: “You can come to the June 9 Gephardt Event AND Still Be Home In Time for the Lakers Game.” Plus: “The REVISED COST for a “Young Professional” contribution … is $250 per person.”

INK-STAINED, MAYBE; SELF-RIGHTEOUS, ALWAYS: Some reporters at the PBS press conference in July were outraged at the news that “Sesame Street” had decided not to add an HIV-positive Muppet to the cast after all, even though the South African version of “Sesame Street” has one.

THERE’S LOW RATINGS. THERE’S CRASHING-THROUGH-THE-FLOOR RATINGS. AND THEN THERE’S PHIL DONAHUE ON MSNBC: “Well, I feel like a very lucky duck and not too many folks get this chance,” the talk show host said at an MSNBC press conference, just before his much-hyped but (as it turned out) little-watched new cable show premiered last summer. “All throughout my career when I failed, when other people failed, it was predictable. They would say, ‘Well, they didn’t promote me.’ I can’t make that argument at MSNBC. I’m on the side of every other bus in New York City. The promotional has been sensational. And I really couldn’t ask for more support.” No, but a few more viewers would have been nice.

THE UNBELIEVABLE BOFFONESS OF “AMERICAN IDOL”: Robert Thompson, head of Syracuse University’s Center for the Study of Popular Television, told CNN in August that the talent show is much, much greater than anything that had come before: “This is to ‘Star Search’ what modern quantum physics is to Newtonian gravitational equations.” NOW LISTEN TO THE STORY OF A MAN NAMED JED, A POOR MOUNTAINEER TRYIN’ TO KEEP HIS FAMILY ON TV 24 HOURS A DAY, EVEN IN THE BATHROOM: CBS announced in August it plans to resurrect “The Beverly Hillbillies” as a reality series.

THEY NEVER SAID YOU WAS HIGH CLASS: In a deal being investigated by Department of Justice anti-trust lawyers, the nation’s two largest alternative weekly chains — Village Voice Media and New Times — agreed in October to shut down New Times in Los Angeles, leaving a market monopoly for the Village Voice-owned L.A. Weekly, in return for the Village Voice closing its Cleveland paper and leaving the market clear in that city for the New Times-owned Cleveland paper.

Of course, L.A. is much bigger than Cleveland, so the Village Voice also agreed to paid New Times $8 million. When a reporter from the L.A. Weekly working on a story about the closures called New Times founder and executive editor Michael Lacey for a comment, Lacey yelled “Go f— yourself” and slammed down the phone.

SNARKORAMA! This is the year that the indispensable website TelevisionWithoutPity.com came into its own, complete with a big respectful article in the New York Times magazine in October about how showrunners increasingly pay attention to what these online kibitzers think. I became a fan of TVw/oP.com during “American Idol,” when one of the site’s episode recappers noted that Justin made Paula Abdul’s uterus fall out.

Here, just for a taste, is the TVw/oP.com recap of a November episode of “Everwood”: “As the writers scratch off #476 in their Handy-Dandy Handbook of On-Screen clich