From Being Too Bossy or Too Pessimistic

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”Why Do People Think I’m Bossy?”

Dear Dr. Gelb:


I manage an art gallery and with a staff of 15. I am also a single mom with two pre-teens. My staff and my kids complain that I’m too bossy. I need to be firm to get both jobs done (work and home). Where do we draw the line between running a tight ship en route to success, and being too bossy?

Works For Me

Dr. Gelb Says . . .

Dear Works For Me:

It sounds like you’re standing at the helm and that a tight grip is needed. If I were you, I wouldnt be too concerned about what others think of you, especially your children. They need your guidance and your discipline to help them face the waves. As for your employees, you need their respect more than their approval.

So, consider keeping a tight grip on the helm. Then the world can be your oyster.

”Why Do People Think the Worst?”

Dear Dr. Gelb:

My wife is the eternal pessimist, always imagining the worst, whether we’re watching the news or a sad movie. Is there a way to get her to see the cup half-full rather than always empty? It must be a drag to live like this.

Doom and Gloom

Dr. Gelb Says . . .

Dear Gloom:

Unless she asks for your input, I dont think there’s much you can do that would make a true difference. She may even get angry if you tried to relieve her of her negativity. Martyrs do not like people to interfere with their suffering. They get satisfaction from complaining. It’s a type of negative attention.

One way to solve your discomfort might be to stop feeling sorry for her and just listen.

”’Suzanne J. Gelb, Ph.D., J.D. authors this weekly column, Dr. Gelb Says, which answers questions about daily living and behavior issues. Extra articles and additional Q & As may occasionally be posted in response to specially requested topics. Dr. Gelb is a licensed psychologist in private practice in Honolulu. She holds a Ph.D. in Psychology and a Ph.D. in Human Services. Dr. Gelb is also a published author of a book on Overcoming Addictions and a book on Relationships.”’

”’This column is intended for entertainment use only and is not intended for the purpose of psychological diagnosis, treatment or personalized advice. For more about the column’s purpose, see”’ “An Online Intro to Dr. Gelb Says”

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