From Mean Comments to Disgusting Behavior

article top

“Suzanne Gelb Image”

”Too Small to Please — What Should I Do?”


Q: Dear Dr. Gelb:

My husband teases me and tries to encourage me to have breast implants. I am ashamed and embarrassed about my small breasts, and in public my husband hurt my feelings by making a cruel joke in a party with friends that when I put my bra on backwards it fits better. What should I do?


A: Dr. Gelb says . . .

Dear Small:

If I were in your situation, probably the first step I would take would be to confront my husband about why he degrades me in front of our friends. A person who behaves in this way invariably has self shame that they hide by criticizing others. I would also consult closely with my family physician and request a referral for psychotherapy before I would even consider undergoing augmentation because it is a procedure that may not necessarily be positive for everyone.

”Spitting — Why Does it Bother Me?”

Q: Dear Dr. Gelb:

Why do I feel so grossed out when someone spits on the sidewalk or spits out their car window?

16 and growing

A: Dr. Gelb says . . .

Dear 16:

I hope that you never develop such a vulgar and gross habit. I can only encourage parents to teach their children, from a very young age, to respect the environment and the common areas that we all share. One astute individual suggested that the mayor ought to have a slogan painted on sidewalks which could read something along the lines of, “If you expect to rate in this state, do not expectorate.”

”’Suzanne J. Gelb, Ph.D., J.D. authors this daily column, Dr. Gelb Says, which answers questions about daily living and behavior issues. Dr. Gelb is a licensed psychologist in private practice in Honolulu. She holds a Ph.D. in Psychology and a Ph.D. in Human Services. Dr. Gelb is also a published author of a book on Overcoming Addictions and a book on Relationships.”’

”’This column is intended for entertainment use only and is not intended for the purpose of psychological diagnosis, treatment or personalized advice. For more about the column’s purpose, see”’ “An Online Intro to Dr. Gelb Says”

”’Email your questions to More information on Dr. Gelb’s services and related resources available at”’