How to Give Yourself Breast Cancer in 10 Easy Steps

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If you are a woman who wants to get breast cancer, or if you know of any woman who wants to get breast cancer, then you’re in luck. It’s easier than you think. 

I am a breast cancer researcher, especially of the cultural causes of this disease, such as the exposure to toxic chemicals, or the wearing of tight bras for long hours daily. 


In the early 1990s, my wife and I performed the world’s first study that looked directly at the bra and its impact on breast cancer incidence. We described our research in the book Dressed to Kill: The Link Between Breast Cancer and Bras, and there are now dozens of studies confirming a bra-cancer link. For example, Wearing a Tight Bra for Many Hours a Day is Associated with Increased Risk of Breast Cancer .  You can see more references on my website

My study, which included nearly 5000 US women, half of whom had breast cancer, asked about past bra wearing behavior and attitudes, and showed that bra-free women have about the same risk of breast cancer as men. The tighter and longer the bra is worn, the higher the risk rises, to over 100 times higher for a 24/7 bra user compared to a bra-free woman. 

You would think the American Cancer Society would be happy to have this new way of preventing breast cancer. Simply reduce bra usage, and make sure it is not tight. And according to the bra industry, 90% of women wear bras too tightly. But the ACS isn’t happy about this at all. Bras are not something they ever considered, and they sell mastectomy bras and get funds from bra companies. They also get funds from mammography and cancer drug companies. 

When there is money involved, forget about getting the truth from the media or industry or government. We live in a bra-using culture, with a multi-billion dollar bra industry, and a multi-billion dollar breast cancer detection and treatment industry. Lots of money is at stake. Lawsuits are feared. Don’t expect to hear the truth from the medical business about preventing disease, especially something as profitable as breast cancer.

But truth does have a way of getting out. For an issue that the ACS says is ridiculous and unfounded, there are more women who know about it today than 30 years ago. That’s because they stopped wearing bras and their breasts got healthier. They then spread the news. 

The leading cause of breast disease is the daily constriction and compression of the breasts with bras. And while it’s not a disease, bras also make breasts droop, as the natural suspensory ligaments in the breasts atrophy and weaken due to the artificial support from the bra.

It is also increasingly clear that we live in a toxic, plastic world, although the plastics industry will deny their poisonous products are leaching toxic chemicals everywhere. Many of these chemicals cause cancer, and most bras are made of plastic material, like polyester, which break down into toxic chemicals. These synthetic fabrics leach chemicals into the breast skin and tissue, and the tight bra keeps the toxins in the breasts longer due to impaired circulation.

After 30 years of studying breast cancer, I have developed a list of 10 things you can do to get breast cancer. 

1. Get a training bra as early as possible. The younger you are when you begin constricting the breasts, the greater the harm from tight bras. This will help prevent your breasts from developing properly.

2. Make sure your bra is synthetic. Cotton, silk, and hemp bras do not leach chemicals into the skin, so make sure you use leachable fabric to get a good daily dose of plastic chemicals in your breasts. 

3. Create cleavage, the more the better. Use the bra to push your breasts as close together as possible, which is the best way to impair the lymphatics. The more pressure, the greater the impairment to circulation. So lift and shape your breasts however you want. If you leave them where nature intended then they will have proper circulation, which makes it difficult to get cancer. 

4. Make sure the bra leaves marks and indentations in your skin. The deeper and darker the mark is, the better for your goal of getting cancer. Skin marks and indentations are great signs that you are cutting off some circulation, and maybe even compressing nerves. Way to go, girl!

5. If you have large breasts, make sure to wear underwires to hold them up. These dig nicely into your chest wall, and can even cause scar tissue. You want this scarring, since that is known to impair lymphatic circulation. 

6. Try to keep the breasts tight and immobilized in the bra. Immobilization will prevent the pumping of lymph fluid in your breasts as you move. The lymphatics are tiny and have one-way valves to propel fluid when you move, so don’t move your breasts. You want the lymph fluid in your breasts to stay stagnant so it can become toxic.

7. Make sure you have plenty of toxins in your food. Opt for highly processed foods in plastic packaging. Avoid whole foods like meat, milk, cheese, eggs, and whole grains, and don’t grow your own garden. If you do grow your own food, make sure to use as many pesticides, herbicides, and fungicides as possible. The more synthetic chemicals in your food, the better it is for developing cancer. 

8. Believe everything the American Cancer Society says. They are interested in early detection and treatment of cancer, which means you get cancer. So listen to what they say, since Cancer is their middle name.

9. Get regular mammograms, which are x-rays. Not only can mammograms spot your cancer early, so you can begin on your cancer adventure; x-rays also cause cancer. So get your breasts x-rayed as often as you can, since radiation is cumulative and the harm to your genes from the x-rays adds up. 

10. Wear a bra as long each day as possible, preferably 24/7. Only take it off to shower, and then put it back on immediately. Sleep in the bra. The more you wear the bra, and the tighter it is, the better it is for developing cancer. 

Clearly, with a little life planning, and ignoring her body, any woman can get breast cancer. The key is to stay with the bra despite the discomfort. Work through the pain. Know that you are helping support the lingerie and cancer industries, including thousands of young workers in sweat shops around the world who need the money. Cancer makes the world go around. You can even get to wear a pink ribbon and attend a march for funds for the American Cancer Society, or for the Susan G. Komen Foundation, which copies the ACS. 

Yes, you, too, can have breast cancer and be special. Just follow the advice above, and your tumor is almost guaranteed. 




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