Top 10 Tips for Negotiating Potholes in Paradise

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The roads on the island of Oahu were decimated by the recent torrent of rain that lasted several days throughout the holiday season.


These are the same roads rated the worst in the nation in 2003 by the Surface Transportation Policy Project ”’before”’ the downpour forced streams of water to run down the mountains and through the streets causing hundreds of potholes to form.

While the state Department of Transportation rushes to patch the potholes, even though most of the potholes are on city maintained streets, ”’The Honolulu Advertiser”’ is busy doling out advice on how to drive over potholes. The daily paper’s editors felt the need to publish a sidebar entitled: “Tips for Driving Over Potholes” and took its advice from the Independent Insurance Agents of America.

So, not to be outdone, Hawaii Reporter consulted some of the best and brightest minds in Hawaii, and average guys on the street, to come up with its own top 10 list of what to do when negotiating a pothole on Hawaii bumpy roadways. Here it is.

”Tips for Negotiating Potholes In Paradise”

1) Drive fully aware of the road in front of you. If you are driving at night, especially in Waimanalo where there are no streetlights, make sure to wear night vision goggles so you can spot the potholes before your head hits the steering wheel as your car lands in them.

2) When you do detect a pothole in the road ahead, don’t panic. Slow enough to assess the danger before you. Ask yourself is that a pothole, a crater or a sinkhole. No matter what you decide, proceed forward and around the hole.

3) If you are driving in Kailua, realize that at any time, any part of the road could sink. Proceed with caution and make sure your car insurance is paid. If in Waianae, make sure it is a pothole, and not the landfill that you are approaching.

4) Stay out of Hawaii Kai. Hawaii Kai is one of the last areas on the pothole repair schedule published by the state and the potholes rival any in other parts of the island of Oahu. They are mean, mean potholes.

5) Do not drive on the sidewalk, no matter how big the pothole, because you might hit a politician on a Segway.

6) No matter how tempting, don’t drive really fast through a big puddle, because there is a reason that the big puddle is still there four days after the rain stopped.

7) You could drive twice the posted speed limit in hopes the speed could sling shot you over the pothole, like a scene out of the movie ”’Bullit”’ based in San Francisco.

8) Be sure to take a plantiff’s attorney with you at all times, because the attorney can advise you on how to sue for whiplash, damage to your vehicle and pothole-induced stress.

9) Throw caution to the wind. Don’t negotiate the road. Just buy a Hummer.

10) And finally … bring back former Gov. Ben Cayetano and his Transportation director Kazu Hayashida and make them fill the potholes with the $156,000 pothole filling machine they bought with taxpayer money