Top 10 Ways to Get Through the TSA Experience this Holiday Season

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10.  Go rogue aka, free range, or al dente.


9.  Take some “E” before the pat down and enjoy the ride.

8.  Take some of those little blue pills before the pat down and enjoy the ride.

7.  Could be worse, they could  ask you to cough and turn your head.

6.  At least they’re not asking you to put your legs into the stirrups and use a “cold speculum.”

5. Think of a Barry White song during the pat down.

4.  Two words, “medical marijuana”

3.  Before the full body scan turns on, shout “Beam me up Scotty.”

2.  Avoid saying, “Could you check under the hood?”

1.  Think of it as speed dating.