Top Ten Suggestions for What to Do With Feral Pigs Hogging Backyards in Manoa

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”’Editor’s note: Manoa residents are being visited by some oinking visitors — feral pigs — who are eating their plants and destroying their property. The question is … what should they do? Some of our readers made suggestions. Here are the top 10 alternatives to just shooting them.”’

*10. Give them a “time out”, a hug and cookie and that they shouldn’t trespass on private property.


* 9. Call Rep. Kirk Caldwell and Sen. Brian Taniguchi who represent Manoa and ask them to hold legislative hearings and have the Legislative Auditor investigate why feral pigs have chosen Manoa neighborhoods to locate.

* 8. Did someone say Kalua Pig?

* 7. There is the party of the elephant, the party of the ass, … let them form their own political party of the pigs — it might increase voter turnout in Hawaii.

* 6. Blame President Bush and tell him to get federal funds to fix the problem he must have caused. The pig invasion must be his fault — everything else is.

* 5. Drop them off in Waianae. 5 Minutes — that should do the trick.

* 4. Enroll them in public school so Hawaii can get more federal funds for education.

* 3. Get them a job on Stupid Pet Tricks with David Letterman.

* 2. Let them run for office and see who gets more votes — the iuncumbent or the pig.

* 1. Have them register to vote and give them absentee ballots.