From Being Accepted to Keeping Busy-Wednesday, July 13, 2005

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“Suzanne Gelb Image”

”Why Won’t He Accept Me?”


Dear Dr. Gelb:

For years, my husband was harping on me to lose weight. Now I finally lost 50 pounds, but he keeps reminding me how beautiful I was when I was fat. Why won’t he let go of the old me?

Time Warp

Dr. Gelb Says . . .

Dear Time:

It seems to me that what your husband is trying to say, in his own way, is how much he loves you. He appears to be telling you that no matter how much you weigh, he loves you. He loves you because you are you, not just because you lost the weight.

Another explanation could be that he is affirming the “old you” to justify his guilt for having previously thought that you really did need to lose some weight.

Either way, consider yourself loved.

”Why Do People Keep Themselves Busy?”

Dear Dr. Gelb:

I always stay busy with some type of work, even when I’m exhausted and stressed. My friends say I’m just a woman who is avoiding facing herself. Maybe they’re right. I don’t know where to begin figuring out this maze?


Dr. Gelb Says . . .

Dear Overscheduled:

Keeping oneself busy is a lot more positive than worrying about how you’re going to finish everything on your to-do list, or whether someone loves you or not. That said, I can understand your dilemma.

Some women have successfully resolved situations quite similar to yours by looking in the mirror, at least once a day, and saying something along the lines of, “Go girl, if I were any better, I couldn